If talking about sex openly and without pretense isn’t taboo enough, anal takes it to the next level.
But here at Allbodies, we celebrate the butt, and want to bring focus to the rear, because there’s so much to learn from back there!
The anus is so much more than just the place from where we poo–– it’s the portal from which we rid all we do not need! And what’s more? As it’s full of nerve endings, it’s actually one of the most sensation-filled areas of the body (2). And this, our friends, lends itself to some amazing pleasure.
Curious to explore the backdoor but intimidated on where to start? We got you! With the help of our pals at b-Vibe, who make an Anal Training Kit & Education Set, we broke it down to help guide you!
Breaking down the butt
First, let’s get familiar with our anus––that 1.5-inch tube that sits just underneath the rectum (the rectum by the way, connects the large intestine to the anus, and acts as our storehouse for poop (3)) and can be found between the buttocks (2). The anus is the end of the human GI tract, and serves as its exit (6); think of it like a small pipe whose purpose is to connect the outside with our inside. Both the vagina and the prostate sit in front of the rectum, and since the rectum has a thin anterior wall (2)… thin wall + lots of nerve endings = prime environment for great orgasm. For those with a vagina, this is a way you can hit the G-spot––that hard-to-locate part of the clitoris that when activated, results in vaginal orgasm and can even cause female ejaculation (7)!
The anus has special muscles called sphincter muscles. There are two types: external and internal sphincters. These guys hold the special honor of keeping the anal tube closed until it needs to open. The difference between the two? You can actually control the external sphincter by either tightening or releasing the muscle, whereas the internal sphincter is instead controlled by the automatic nervous system and it has the tendency to tighten automatically whenever something enters the anus (2). These are the key muscles to release and relax for penetration (they tend to be super tight!). We’ll get into the how in a little bit.
How to go from zero to penetration
There are many different ways to explore anal before you get to full penetration. And we recommend exploring the anal area to become familiar with it before you go from zero to penetration. Since the anus is a super sensitive area (thanks to those nerve endings), and because of the internal sphincter muscles that have a (literal) mind of their own, tightness is real. Plus, every booty is different, so there is so much variability in terms of how tight people are.
If you are interested in exploring anal, it doesn’t mean you need to necessarily go straight for penetration. Familiarize yourself with the anus! Touch it, look at it, play with it.
Slow and steady absolutely wins the race. The tissue around the anal area is delicate (2), so be delicate with your penetration. And, after all, the whole point here is to open, and when we are stressed or tense, we tend to tighten. This can make it harder on those sphincter muscles, and therefore more uncomfortable for you.
Maybe you want to try analingus (stimulating the anal area with the mouth) or manual anal play (using a finger!) first to get used to the new sensation. You can even play around with how much finger gets entry, building up over time.
A helpful approach could be to enter a little with a (clean!) finger, then stay there for 10, 20, or 30 second increments, which allows the sphincter muscles to get used to the sensation and relax into it (5). If using b-Vibe’s anal kit, the Small Silicone Butt Plug is designed to look and feel exactly like a finger (bonus), so it’s slim enough to practice for the first time.
When you’re feeling ready to explore more penetration…
1.Communicate! It’s super important to first talk with your partner; explore the topic of anal and make sure you both are on the same page. You are? Cool.
2. Clean! For er, obvious reasons. b-Vibe’s anal enema can help with this, giving you a deep clean before play. If you aren’t quite ready for an enema yet, water and gentle soap around the area works too––though it obvs won’t help with “cleaning out your system.”
3. Lubricate! Unlike the penis and vagina, the anus does not produce any of its own lube, so lubing-it-up is a must.
4. Keep it safe! If we’re talking penis penetration, be sure to use a condom. Because the anus is sensitive and delicate, anal fissures and tearing is super common (8), which makes it easy to contract STIs. Condoms can help to prevent that!
V. IMPORTANT NOTE ALERT! Avoid using oil-based lubricants because they can damage the condom (4). If you are using a toy, be informed on where it comes from, in order to avoid any toxic materials entering the anus (the anus is also very absorbant!). We also recommend seeking out toys that have a base, so when having fun, you don’t need to worry about the toy getting lost up there.
Editor’s Note: Part of the reason we chose b-vibe’s starter kit for our site is because they really thought of it all! The kit comes with anal-safe lube, a nifty lubricant applicator for those hard-to-reach spots and an enema! Boom!
And if you’re being penetrated…
Remember, the goal here is to stay open, and when we’re tense, our sphincter is too! Deep breathing can help–– particularly if you exhale while being penetrated–– to keep things a little looser. Continue to focus on inhaling and exhaling throughout.
Fun fact! If cannabis is legal in your place of penetration, it can be a super useful tool to help you relax and ease into entrance.
When you’re ready to explore more anal sensation...
At this point, if you’re feeling comfortable and wanting to explore more sensation, you have options! The b-Vibe kit includes a Medium Vibrating Butt Plug, the vibration serving dual purpose: to stimulate the prostate or G-spot and help the sphincter muscles to relax, (how much better can that get?) AND a Large Weighted Butt Plug, which are two weighted balls that create a sensual feeling of fullness without the vibration.
Play with your positions
The rectum is not a straight tube (1). It curves and bends, so if you’re going deeper with your penetration, try different positions to find the most comfortable for you: lying on your stomach, back, side (spooning), hands and knees, etc. And if you dislike one position one go, it’s possible you may like it at another time (digestion, ya know?). So feel free to keep experimenting!
Gotta ask, what about poop?
It’s true; poo is possible. But if it happens, don’t fret. It’s totally normal! To avoid a bowel movement occurring, make sure you or your partner go to the bathroom beforehand (or you can try that enema!). If poop does make an appearance, ensure there is no fecal residue before you start. Wash the anus before any play!
The number one kit to help you explore the backdoor-––right this way: Get your b-Vibe here!
Written by: Kristina Samulewski
All content found on this Website, including: text, images, audio, or other formats, was created for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
(1) Paltrow, Gwyneth, and Inc Goop. The Sex Issue: Everyting You’ve Always Wanted to Know About Sexuality, Seduction, and Desire. Grand Central Life & Style, 2018.
(2) Hutcherson, Hilda. What Your Mother Never Told You about S.e.x. New York: Berkley Pub., 2003.
(3) Person. “Rectum Anatomy, Diagram & Function | Body Maps.” Healthline. Healthline Media, January 21, 2018. https://www.healthline.com/human-body-maps/rectum#1.
(4) Parenthood, Planned. “Why Can’t You Use Baby Oil with a Condom?” Planned Parenthood, n.d. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/ask-experts/why-cant-you-use-baby-oil-with-a-condom.
(5) Taylor, Jordyn. “Here’s Every Anal Sex Tip You Could Ever Need.” Men’s Health. Men’s Health, April 17, 2019. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19530865/anal-sex-guide/.
(6) “The Anus (Human Anatomy): Picture, Definition, Conditions, & More.” WebMD. WebMD, n.d. https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/picture-of-the-anus#1.
(7) Sutton, Jandra. “G Spot in Women: What It Is, How to Find It, and Sex Positions.” Healthline: Healthline Media, June 21, 2018. https://www.healthline.com/health/g-spot-in-women#2.
(8) “Anal Fissures Causes & Risk Factors, Frequently Asked Questions.” WebMD. WebMD, n.d. https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/anal-fissure-causes.